be still.
be very very still and be very very quiet.
then you won't want what you know you cannot have which you covet.
why is it that you ooze charm that comes through the airwaves, that reaches out of my screen to slide slimy tentacles around me and smothering me until i am all wobbly and the fight is gone.
my resolve must stand.
i hate that the expectations come crashing back, it only takes a word, and i'd crave more, and want more, and start wishing i had more.
when i can't have more.
massively broke now, the end of the month is not coming fast enough, and i need to get my one terrabyte hdd next week.
and assignments is be coming.coming.coming.HALP!
thank you daddy! X)
the only thing i don't quite like about this blogskin is the title not appearing, this one reads: imma blog about that!!
probably because i'm telling niang that i'm going to pierce my cartilage and i want her to come with because i'm scared of pain.
i want the pain, i want it to hurt terribly bad, but i'm also afraid of it.
it's like, i want that pain there to cling on to, cliched but it somehow makes sense, i think every once in a while, after i accomplish something, or when i'm starting to lose motivation, i go and poke some holes in myself.
i remember my aunt telling me that people who get tattoos..etc, have something psychologically wrong with them, i scoffed at it, well, i still do, in regards to the tattooing, because it's a very simple idea of remembrance for me.
but the piercings-wise, yes, i guess there is something fundamentally wrong with my logical reasoning.
:/ cheers to a world of drugs, pain, sex, alcohol, money and all other things material and unhappy.
joween doesn't understand why you must pick a fight with her everyday when she's already just staying out of your way.
joween also doesn't understand why there is something wrong with everything she does and nothing wrong with what her sister does.
joween is sick of trying to make you happy.
joween thinks you should just shut up and be quiet if you can't at least attempt to be cordial or speak politely without aggression.
joween wants her mother back.